That day I was furious. It was only a week since this new colleague was with us and it was so frustrating. He questioned ‘our’ way of working and had his own ‘weird’ ‘impractical’ ideas. I was agitated and wondered how to deal with him. I sought help in our weekly meeting.

“There is nothing new. For everyone, ‘our’ ideas are always right, and ‘other’s’ ideas are weird and impractical.”

I was not sure. I have worked with so many people. No one was so different and so frustrating. As usual, as I delved deeper, new perspectives emerged. I have been comfortable with people who were like ‘us’, who were aligned to ‘our’ way of working.  I could clearly realise discomfort with people who were ‘different,’ who had a different way of thinking. And it is not that they were wrong. In fact, in the hindsight I realised, they were right from their point of view.

“Respecting diversity is the key.”

Sounds simple and true but is so difficult to practice. I am indeed uncomfortable with a person who has a point of view different from mine. Now that I was reflecting on this aspect, I was wondering what is wrong in having a different point of view? And why is it that a person with different point of view or different thinking makes me uncomfortable? Am I expecting that everyone should be same as me?

“When we do not respect diversity, be it personal or cultural, we tend to claim that ‘ours’ is better than ‘theirs.’ That fosters division among us and promotes bitterness.”

As our discussion progressed, examples started flowing. We are living in a world of diversity. There are differences in physical appearances – body, skin, hair, looks etc. In habits – way of eating, dressing, greetings etc. In beliefs – rituals, religious practices, superstitions etc. In positions– social, economic, educational etc. In personal traits – intelligence, skills, mannerism etc. In occupation – teacher, businessman, manager, worker etc.

There are also cultural differences – practices, traditions, behaviours etc. and there are differences in aesthetics – taste, music, art, etc.

We realised that in front of any diversity, we seem to have a subtle tendency to judge. But do we always have to do that? Does a diversity have to be superior or inferior? Can it not be accepted as it is – just different.

“Respecting personal and cultural diversity is one of the basic tenets of the Humanist Attitude.”

I knew Humanist Attitude is the one in which we place human being as the central value. Each human being has his own personal and social context. The way I am proud of my context, I am sure he is proud of his context. There is nothing wrong in my having pride in my context. But there is no need to undermine the context of others.

If only I can do that, what will happen?

Is it possible that I am proud of my country, but also respect other’s country? Be proud of my culture but also respect other’s cultures. Be proud of my religion but also respect other’s religions. Be proud of my family but also respect other’s family. And finally, be proud of what I am and respect others for what they are.

I realised that the new colleague of mine is different and what is frustrating is not him but my inability to appreciate and respect the difference. Perhaps there is a richness in the different perspective that he brings along.

I realised how often I have failed to handle the differences. How often I have ill-treated – directly or within my mind all those who were holding different style, different thinking. How often I have rejected those who held a different point of view. How often I have felt superiority or inferiority comparing the differences.

How great it would be if only I can develop an ability to not only accept but respect these personal and cultural diversity.

By these very thoughts I was experiencing a certain kind of pleasant gentleness within myself.

With these pleasant sensations I moved ahead in my journey to becoming better human being.

Further sharing in the next mail.

Parimal Merchant Humanist Volunteer

Continue reading more about Journey to becoming better human being part- 35