It was our first reunion after we passed out the college.My joy knew no bounds as I was about to see those happy faces of my past.We all assembled in the Nehru Hall where once we stood in rows for meetings. As I reached the hall we all started shouting looking at each other.My God!What a sight it was.Everyone was calling each other with our college ‘nick names’.

But I noticed that there was someone missing in the batch.Then Manav, my batch mate quickly recalled “Black spot is not present” and followed a mocking laughter.Suddenly we noticed a lady entering the hall. She was tall, dressed in black as per the code and walked confidently as she stood in front of us. Nobody was able to recognize her. All eyes were stucked on her.Her big mascara clad eyes, blushed cheeks,neatly done hair were posing a question ‘Who is she?’.

Suddenly she came to me and chuckled,”Hey, ‘Chipkali’ remember me?” .I was stunned when she called me with my nickname.”Oh my God! You all didn’t recognize me.I’m Black spot.”she said in extreme shock.

“What?” My eyes widened as I looked at her or should I say him…I was totally confused.There was complete silence in the hall.Everyone was in a state of extreme trauma.

” Well I understand this must be astonishing for you all. It was for everyone around me when I took this decision.You all called me Black spot on masculinity as being a male I behaved like a female. I never felt bad,seriously never.I always knew that I have a female soul in the core of this male body.How can having a kind of genitals decide my gender?I always felt suffocated in this male body.But nobody understood my plight.I was judged by everyone,mocked at every stage of my life.Yes,I’m a blackspot on masculinity because I considered myself a blackspot near the lips of a female that enhances her beauty.That blackness which a female applies in her deep eyes.

People say that God decides our genders and sends us here on Earth.But the spirit is ours,it’s our choice what we want to be.It’s not wrong when these ladies applies makeup then why it’s a sin if I love those eyeliners and lipsticks?We all get one life to live and I did’nt want to waste it being confined in a body that doesn’t define me.So I went for transformation and see this is me…the real me.I hope now I’m able to clean that blackspot on myself.” She narrated her tale with teary eyes.No one uttered a single word.She glanced everyone of us but no one came forward.

“I guess still some spots are left…Some dark blackspot on the mindset of our society that I would never be able to clean.” Wiping her tears she left the hall leaving us all ashamed.

©Dr.Shweta Prakash Kukreja